I will sometimes be brutally honest in my answers. Know that this is out of a place of teaching and explaining, not of call out or disrespect

​

1. Why is your foster child in care?

   1. While I understand some of you are asking out of genuine curiosity, the simple answer is this - It's not my story to tell. 

   2. The more complex answer is this. Though well meaning, it is insensitive to ask about a child's traumas, and as these children are in the care of the state, their personal information, including their story, is subject to privacy laws that, as a foster parent, I am expected to uphold.​ In short, if you feel obligated to the nitty gritty details in order to help, then you are not here for the right reasons, so  respectfully, please rethink your desire to know this information.

2. Why should a drug addict get their child back?

   1. Not all children in care have drug addicted parents. ​There are a multitude of reasons why a child ends up in care. Some are as innocent as a car accident and awaiting family to get to town to take the children home. Some are as gruesome as severe intentionally inflicted trauma. 

   2. Let's say that a child IS in care bc of addiction. Addiction is a disease. We don't take children away from family if their primary care giver has lung cancer because they chose to smoke. To assume to know the trauma of these parents and assume that they can't get help or don't want to be good parents is cruel and unwarranted. Everyone is entitled to a second chance. A foster parent's job is simply to love that child - AND root for their parent(s) - while the parent(s) get the help they need.

3. I'm not able to foster, but I want to do more than just donate - what else can I do?

   1. I love this question! Becoming a Court Appointed Special Advocate, CASA, is a great way to "do more" without the same 24/7 commitment as foster parenting. ​If you're in CA, please see the link above for "becoming a CASA" to learn more! for other states, you can google foster CASA in [your state]

4. How long will a child be with you?

   1. This is case by case. On average around 10-11 months, but it can be anywhere from just a few weeks, to 2 or more years! ​

5. Don't you get paid? Why do you need my help?

   1. Normally when someone is expecting a child, someone throws them a baby shower. As a foster parent, I don't feel comfortable having a "celebration" thrown in honor of a child being removed from their home, so instead I did a simple registry without the pomp & circumstance. You are no more obligated to support than you would with any other registry. But if you do, know it's appreciated

   2. Yes, Foster parents do receive a monthly stipend from the state. For California, it is $1037/mo. In 2019, the average monthly cost of raising a newborn was approx $1500/mo - and that doesn't include daycare. Further to that, all set up for a foster home - crib, sheets, stroller, car seat, safety gates/locks, clothes, diapers, wipes, bathing necessities, etc are purchased out of pocket and are not reimbursed. It can also take up to 6-8 weeks after a child is placed in your care to receive your first stipend check. ​

   3. Here are a few more things you shouldn't say to foster parents

6. More to come!

​